I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
It's not that he's ugly its just that being blind folded makes everything less awkward
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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