I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Randomize
