they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He was using OnStar to get directions to the bar. I'm pretty sure he'd have gotten her number too if I hadn't disconnected the call.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I'm drinking vodka. Get ready for my famous "come over" mass snapchats
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
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