Your dad touched me again.
You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
why did I try to FaceTime with 311 last night?
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
Have you ever eaten pizza and gotten your dick sucked at the same time? Because I have pizza.
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
