We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
That was nice of you. Thank you for respecting the fact that I got cockblocked by a sophomore last night.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Got 2 free lines of blow from some random guys on the side of 13th street.....how's your Sunday going?
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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