I was thinking about him in the shower then i get out of the shower and there was a text from him
its like he has a camera inside of my shower that looks into my brain
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
then he compared my vagina to a dishwasher. A DISHWASHER?!
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize