You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
There was a lot of him and a little penis
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I will have you know I turned Latino David Arquette down for sex because he's married. Total. Moral. Victory.
Flo's in town, ain't she.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
Randomize
