Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
I just did the scooter of shame. New levels of embarrassment have now opened.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
Randomize
