operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
You pole danced in your parka.
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
Randomize
