just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
Send me a pic of your kids to remind me why I have morals.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
Just used the "Buddy" Poppy flower I got from a veteran to clean my one hitter. "I'm proud to be an American"
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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