The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Def ran into my elementary school babysitter at the grocery store. Still hot. And she complimented my beer choice. It feels good to still have her approval
$150 bar tab covered by these tits. That's now the going rate. Keeping my bra on during sex unless i see the Benjamins.
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I got inside last night via doggy door
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
