Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
Omg i either met the gayest dude ever or my next boyfriend
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
STOP LICKING HIS MUSTACHE
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
Randomize