i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
