So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Btw if you ever get emails that pretty much contain 'bwahhhhh jatkkvsweuo' it's safe to assume it's me.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
I was so gone I thought the cops banging on my door were kids from the party trying to get into my room... needless to say, I started moaning louder so they would take the hint.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
Sooooooooooooo you woke up on a rooftop. Classy
Randomize
