omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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