A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Do you want the really bad news or the bad news? Or do you want it in chronological order?
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Got my period and a UTI on the same day. Fuck you, Sunday.
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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