Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
I woke up with someone else's vomit on my ass. That's how I'm doing today.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Got my client divorced finally. He was even awarded the cat ashes. Yep I went to law school for this.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
