I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
He got kicked out 3 times. I have no idea how he kept getting back in. I saw him walking on the highway the next morning.
Girl it's 3:30 get your life together and come enjoy a bowl, some coffee and a brownie with me
this one kid was speed-mumbling about putting broccoli in the printer
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
