I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
i had to take my roommates dildo out of her suitcase so I could use it
the suitcase or the dildo?
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
Tomorrow is my bachelor party. If I die tomorrow, please know I graded you a "check" as a sister. "Check-minus" when you got mouthy.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
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