Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
yeah come on over we're just pre gaming for the grocery store
my dad just asked me if my booty call guy that comes over at 3am and leaves at 6 would like to stay for sunday brunch next week. you in?
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
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