I'm peeing chunks and puking liquid. Did I at least have fun last night?
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
He knows as soon as he hits chameleon eye status drunk, he is guaranteed to piss the bed we NEED to push him there
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Nothing says you made great Saturday night choices like someone's dick that you don't remember, poking you in the ass Sunday morning.
Just checked out of walmart with a 30 pack of Budlight and a wiffle bat. Hello, Monday night.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
