somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
THAT stays in the CAR. And if one fucking person who was NOT in the car brings it up, I will KILL you. Thank you.
..So we should take it off Youtube?
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
After getting rejected by him, I got a strangely pleasant dick pic from an unknown number with the caption: "I hope this gets you through the night ;)" It's like the Cock-Gods were shining down upon me.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Wanna buy a dildo with me during your lunch break tomorrow?
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
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