dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
She's a virgin AND a minister's daughter. We're one schoolgirl outfit from the dear penthouse trifecta
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
Hey. Be honored that I consider you the genital expert. I know alot of candidates for the position.
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
Have I told you recently that I love you, if for no other reason than you make my irresponsible substance abuse look tame by comparison?
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
Cops are just so fun an beautifuk
Ever walked into a basement full of 10 guys jerking it to a live stripper? Cause I have. Always confirm the address of a house party. Always.
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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