Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I have her designated blowjob hair tie on my wrist. It's like a key to eternal happiness
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I had sex on a seadoo on the middle of the lake lastnight
I don't know what to say to you.
I don't know what I said to you. Start with that.
Randomize
