Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Awee what are you going to name your new dog?
What dog?
He asked if I had feelings for him while I was lying naked on the floor vomiting into a trashcan as he held my hair and fed me Pringles.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
