I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Hahaha my philosophy professor just opened class with "I had a shitty weekend and I was at the bar until 815 this morning. So bear with me".
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Help I can't tell if I'm sexually attracted to Bill Nye
Oh.
You came to the right person.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Randomize
