it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
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