Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
