you didnt say anything until i brought it up today. i guess i misjudged your maturity.
I guess I misjudged your gender.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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