I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
If this party got busted it would be an improvement
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
