spencer pratt says his family invinted chess
that kid is like the al gore of hollywood.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
My corndog is like a popsicle of bread. A WHOLE. POPSICLE. OF BREAD.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
Two words: blizzard sex
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
She's kind of holyer-than-thou, like god himself came down and said "please cock block your roommate at every opportunity, and if you think she's thinking of sex, tell her she's a whore"
Randomize
