Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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