I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
If me getting shot doesn't get me pussy I am officially gay
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
Randomize
