My girlfriend went down on me and as she did she hummed the theme from star wars and pretended my dick was a lightsaber...I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
Everything about him screamed your future.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
You know for a guy who frequently jumps into stuff without thinking it through, your can do spirit is lacking on this one
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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