8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
He wore homemade jorts on our first date. I'm not sure if I should leave now or embrace the white trash lust and marry him
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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