We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
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