i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
Come down here. We are watching people walk through the paper we taped in front of the elevator.
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
pizza hut and my weed lady just showed up at the same time. I feel 22 again.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I can't believe we broke the fucking lamp.
*i* can't believe believe we broke the lamp fucking.
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
Randomize
