i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
The brown eye won't let me do that either.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize