would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
don't worry, i already broke the ice when i told the story about how i super glued a picture of big bird to my vag.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
you assured me you'd make it home safe because your pizza rolls were waiting up for you.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
I CAN FEEL MY HEART BEATING MY WHOLE BODY
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
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