Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
the facebook you made of my ass has 10 times more friends than i do.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Randomize
