shes about as inviting as chlamydia
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
its 4:30 pm. In the mall. Just threw up into my hands. I love Vegas and Vegas loves me
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
The box said 94% effective prevention of pregnancy if used correctly but God knows I’m not gonna use it right so let’s adjust that to like a 70%
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
