Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
How was me telling you it's my mom's birthday a go-ahead to bang my sister???
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
Randomize
