Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
he just payed for our date, after telling him I was leaving early to meet my fuck buddy. is there something lower than friendzone I can stick this guy in?
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
