I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
is that a dick in a sweater?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
