That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
All of his creepy stalker friends want you too
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
Alli causes anal leakage. You can find someone to like you if you are fat but no one will like you if you poop yourself.
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
What can I say, your life is charmed. I'm on the couch trying to decide whether or not to puke again.
Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
Randomize
