So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Nope not happening. When I close my eyes the floor moves. I'm going to enjoy this free roller coaster.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
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