idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Remember that cop that blew me in the parking lot a few weeks ago? He's possibly with his wife and kids shopping at Target.
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
Randomize