I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
Circus confirmed... Jello shots before 9 pm are not cocktails for sucess
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
WINE AND FILM. TALK ABOUT AN UPGRADE FROM NETFLIX AND CHILL.
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
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