3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I'm sorry but all I really read was "my nipples will get hard."
I opened a jar of Ragu so I could use it as a cup. You tell me how it's going.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
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