Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
know what the best part about malls are? standing on the upper level and boob gazing
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He says he invented a new sex move called The Redbird that we can only do when I'm on my period. Should I be concerned?
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
So is seeing the guy's penis that I'm talking to something you're into or nah?
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
I've got a tequila scented hand sanitizer for you.
you're the best roommate i could ever have.
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