All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
so after morning sex, she rolled a joint and turned on sports center
you might have found the rare bro goddess. i thought they were myth
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
He called me while he was having sex and asked if I wanted to go get mcdonalds
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize
