is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
Please tell me you saw the asian lady with the medical mask on cutting her lawn with scissors.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
I think a kid would responsible me up
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
