i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
You can't special order awesome
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
IDK. when she left she was wearing her bra like an eyepatch and offering to shiver the timbers of the dorm patrol.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
