Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
Come see our sink grown plant.
At what point last night did I start ordering doubles?
Right after we had the just friends talk..
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
I think I died last night. I had 14 beers..well 13 1/2 if you count the one that got spilled on the baby in the elevator.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
I said, hypothetically speaking, if I was going to be having some rough sex Friday night, when WOULD be the best time for a massage, mother dear?
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
Randomize
