We almost didn't get a second pitcher, but now we're getting a sixth.
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
I'm not going to drink anymore, and on that note I'm not going to drink any less either, so I'll see you there. . .
Randomize
